I really do miss blogging, but I just haven't had the time.  It's a shame, because it's been fairly eventful lately.  If you needed a reason, Chief Ike's and Madam's Organ are officially on my shit list of suckbag bars.  I'm not going into details, but basically the guy who manages Ike's is a fucking pussy who sucker punched a friend of mine and scurried away, and the owner of Madam's let them sneak out the back door when the cops showed up.  Okay, so there were some details.  But those bars can suck a dick and die.  And the DC cop who took my statement, or rather ignored me, was a fucking shitbag. 

But foxfield was awesome and everything's generally pretty cool.  I've heard Circa kinda sucks.  Thoughts?  Anyway, I'll try to pump something more interesting out this weekend.  BTW, the National and Built to Spill have dates at 9:30.  Fuck yeah.  Rock on kiddos.

• I know I've lapsed on blogging, and trust me, it's not without remorse.  The thing is, my job actually matters now, and most other time is devoted to reminding friends how drunk I can get.
• The Wolfmother show was pretty effing sick.  It was like 1972, but with guys in plaid abercrombie shirts and backwards ballcaps singing along.  CBGBs meets DTD.
• What's up 21P?  Anyone else notice that place has been shut down like a brothel?  There are place settings still on the tables.
• Buffalo Billiards will likely be no more.  Don't ask me how I know.  It's magic.
• Charleston is still one of my favorite places on Earth.
• Kansas, however, can suck a dick.  Who names a state after a cheesy 80's band?
• I've come to accept that I like dogs better than people. 
• The Aqua Teen movie is the best $10 I've ever spent.
• In a rare move, a special shout out to Columbia Heights Lisa, who was the first person to ever come up to me in The Bar and ask if was the Rock Creek Rambler.  That takes guts, or else the defeating realization that you even know who I am.  The only thing more embarrassing than recognizing a blogger is being a blogger.
• Buy Manpoo.

In the extraordinary case that you missed it, please check out the Playaz endorsement of Manpoo.  I know now that I'm soon going to be a very rich man.  Hopefully sooner than later, because the Playaz's $2 million endorsement fee was a bit steep, even with the partial Kenny cameo.  I was under the impression that Bon would be slaughtering a panda and washing its blood from his hair, but hey, I'm still happy watching Phil wash his crotch. 

Warning: Use of Manpoo may cause stinging, numbness of limbs, anal leakage, and in rare cases, necrophilia.

Okay, I'm back from a weekend in Charleston, SC, where I intentionally went 3 days without a cigarette.  I think I'm going to give quitting another try, albeit gradually.  Anyway, between work and planning for Foxfield next weekend, I'm swamped.  I will try to get at least one real post in this week.  Hell, maybe later tonight after a couple of beers.  Also, from now on I'm only going to write while listening to music, so you'll see that at the bottom now.  So, there that is.  I hoped you missed me, because I didn't give a crap about you.

Also: OMFG!  Credit to AEM for finding that masterpiece.  Adam McKay and Will Ferrell.

Listening to: Shout Out Louds - Howl Howl Gaff Gaff

I'm still in a bit of shock over what happened in Blacksburg yesterday.  I've talked a lot of shit about Tech over the years, mostly over sports rivalries and because I had a lot of friends who went there.  Also partially because the only time I've ever been arrested was in Blacksburg.  But right now, as a Wahoo to all the Hokies, I offer only my deepest condolences and utmost respect.  I can hardly imagine what it must be like for you right now. 

I had lunch at the Palm today and sat 3 ft. away from James Carville.  I would have been a little more star struck, except I already met him after a taping of Crossfire.  Anyway, that's not my point - my point is that I started a new job today, and this blog is going to suffer for it.  I won't be blogging from work, s0 posting will drop below the already abysmal level...  I should probably just kill it, but the summer usually makes for good blogging, so we'll stick it out a little longer.  Further bulletins as events warrant.  But in sum:

Blades of Glory, awesome; Mayorga coffee, awesome; my garage space, awesome; ladies of the 42, awesome; Pollo Campero, meh; Popeye's red beans and rice, tastes strangely like melted rubber; Melinda and Melinda, still the worst movie of the decade.

If you missed Monopoli at DC9 last night, well... you're pretty much fucked.  It was fitting that their last show was one of their best.  It was a bittersweet night, to be sure.  Further bulletins as events warrant with regard to new endeavors, but for now we just have to sit back and wait for the VH1 Behind the Music special.

Buying shampoo is such an ordeal these days.  I swear, I stand in front an ENTIRE aisle of shampoo, and still I can't find what I'm looking for.  I'm not looking for shampoo for oily hair, dry hair, color-treated hair, dandruffy hair, blonde hair, red hair,  or really any kind of shampoo specific to hair color.  I don't have highlights, or a perm, or any other hair improvement condition that would require a special shampoo.  I don't need conditioner in my shampoo, nor do I need extracts of rose petals and lilac.  I just want some god damned shampoo.  Last time, I finally settled on Garnier Fructis because a) it was at the beginning of the aisle and b) it said "Normal Hair."  Still though, it is "fortifying" shampoo.  I don't need to fortify anything on my body.  The next time I get my I hair cut, I'm going to be like "whoa, buddy, slow down there.  That hair is fortified.  You can't touch it until I give you the access codes."

Which is why I'm proposing a new product: Manpoo.  Manpoo will come in a black rectangular bottle easily distinguishable from the women's shampoo, i.e., all other shampoo.  There will be no variations for dry hair, oily hair, or any other hair for which the shampoo companies want to trick you into thinking you need a special shampoo.  The bottle will say nothing on it except "Manpoo," reassuring the buyer that there is no other decision to make other than to buy Manpoo.  It will come in only one scent - something clean smelling but not overpowering or girly.  The advertising slogan will be "Manpoo: Because if you need anything else, you should be using what the rest of the women are using."  Accordingly, Manpoo will not include conditioner.  The only thing a man should condition is his baseball glove. 

And because of the obvious play on words, when you go to the Manpoo web site you'll only find a gallery of customer provided pictures exhibiting their largest and truly manly dumps.  Why?  Because shampoos don't need web sites.

Unless we talk on the phone regularly, please disregard this post.

A little over a week ago my building mysteriously lost Verizon cell service.  I know of at least 10 other people in my building that were affected.  Supposedly the problem will be fixed "within two weeks," although they never told us what the problem exactly was.  Anyway, my point is that if I haven't returned your call, please know that I'm not shunning you.  I will call in due course, but until then the best way to reach me is by semaphore.

All in one weekend, I heard:

1. A guy ordering a margarita, but "instead of that liquor you normally put in there, make it with Hennessy."
2. A woman say "we're either going to the Diner or Tryst" pronouncing Tryst so it rhymes with Christ.
3. A guy say "no it's actually called The Diner.  It's not just a diner, though, it's like an upscale, trendy diner."

Also, it occurred to me that every time someone asks me for directions to so-and-so, it's almost always Heaven and Hell, Brass Monkey, Tom Tom, Saki, Chloe, or the Angry Inch.  So there you have it - the suburbanite six.

What great luck!!! What are the chances that two DC bloggers would win lotteries without even entering them?  First, Arjewtino wins $1 million Euro in a Spanish lottery, and then I win the same amount in a Dutch lottery the very next day:

Sir/Madam

Your: Ref No. SHLNL432/885/RRS
Your: Batch No. GKN8901137-ADB7

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Kresoft Lottery Intl
Prize award Winners International programs held on 21th February 2007.
Your email address have been selected as one of the lucky winning
address, therefore you have been approved for a lump sum payout of One
Million Euro (1,000,000.00) in the 1st category winners.  Your email address
was attached to a Ticket numbers 7775114-6410 with Serial No.
223155-06.

Congratulations!!!
All participants where selected through a computer ballot system drawn
from over 20,000 company and 30,000,000 individual email addresses and
names from all over the world drawn from Europe, America, Asia,
Australia, New Zealand, Middle-East, parts of Africa and North and  South
America . We hope with part of your winning you will take part in our
nextyear 50 million international lottery. To file for your claim,
please contact your claim agent with the contact information below:
********************************************
Director of Operation (Mr. Marck Powet)
Globe Service B.V
The Netherlands
Tel: 0031-616-949413
Fax: 0031-847-195169
E-mail: globeservicebv@gmail.com
************************************************
NOTE: All winnings must be claimed not later than 6th of April 2007,
after this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next  stake.
Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.  Note that
if you are not a resident winner of the Netherlands you will  be
required to pay for thelegalization/notarization of your  winning documents.

Sincerely Yours,
Ralph Gregory (Mr).
Lottery Co-ordinator
Kresoft Lottery Intl

I'm sure the fee for legalizing my documents will be nominal.  I think the first thing I'm going to do is buy a sharter plane that's twice the size of Arjewtino's sharter plane.  Then I will travel all over America and North and South America.

Well, I finally broke down and rented a garage space for my jeep.  It's pricey, but it will be worth it when I get to leave the top down for the entire summer.  And it's only two blocks from my apartment.  Anyway, no more break-ins for me, so I guess I'm going to have to find something else to blog about.

Oh yeah, I'm quitting my job on monday.

Some evil mad scientist has risen Third Eye Blind from the dead.  The zombies formally known as Third Eye Blind will be playing at 930 on May 1, so remember to lock your doors and hang some garlic.  Oh, and plug your ears because infectiously annoying songs like "Semicharmed Life" have been know to drive people to insanity.

Incidentally, I knew a girl in college who used to screw the singer whenver he came to Baltimore.  I've never been so not jealous of "rock" star in my life. 

Tonight is the second to last Monopoli show ever.  DC9.  You know the drill.  Come thank them for all they've given you.  And if you've never seen them, well now's your chance - it will be a short lived but intense affair, just like Bridges of Madison County.  Except not shitty and boring.

In totally unrelated news, I've decided my new sarcastic excuse to use when turning down invitations is "no thanks, I'm having a threesome with my hand and the internets that night."  Oh, internets - you're such a slut.

• Little India in Woodley Park is by far the worst Indian food I've had in DC.  Perhaps it has something to do with the vermin infestation.  Effing gross.
• Virginia's loss to Tennessee hurt not only my spirit, but also my bracket.  Still, I got 11 of the 16.  Far better than last year.
• The tourism council in my home state must have mixed a little crack in with their meth.  The new tourism slogan is "Whatever you do, don’t come to West Virginia."  Apparently they're using sarcasm to attract attention to the ads.  I honestly don't know what to think of this. 
• So, Savannah sounds interesting...