Dear Coke,
Please take greater care to label your diet coke varietals more distinctly. Amidst the diet cokes, diet cherry cokes, diet vanilla cokes, and diet black cherry vanilla cokes, one can make a hasty mistake. For example, I learned today that diet black cherry vanilla coke tastes like a mixture of turpentine and cough syrup. I'm not sure you were aware of that, but needless to say that was not the taste I was looking for. For this product, I would recommend labeling it as such:

Reader Comments (12)
We make $900,000,000,000,000 per year. We don't give a crap what it tastes like to you.
Love,
Coke
But my Daddy doesn't work for Coca-Cola anymore.
Plus, don't forget about the judge who used to masturbate behind the bench during trial with a penis pump.
You never know what's going on, but the system works.