Dateline: December 2003, Washington DC.  I was fresh out of a painful breakup, so a friend recommended that I create a Friendster profile in order to meet new people.  It seemed like a good idea: meeting people through your friends is certainly far better than, say, match.com.  I created a profile, connected to a few of my friends,  and promptly forgot about the whole thing.

Today I received a Friendster birthday reminder (um, thanks creepy Friendster) regarding a friend's birthday, which also reminded me that I have a Friendster profile that is presumably visible to the public.  So I checked it out, and here's an excerpt of what I found (no, I'm not going to link to it):

Occupation:
attorney

Hobbies and Interests:
music, politics, kayaking, crack-cocaine, hanging around interstate rest areas

Favorite Books:
still learning to read

Favorite Movies:
Anything by Wes Anderson or the Coen Bros., American Psycho, Monty Python/Holy Grail, Tommy Boy, Boogie Nights

Favorite Music:
Allman Brothers, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Ben Folds, Pavement, Dave Matthews, Black Crowes, Phish, Primus, Postal Service, Drive By Truckers, Built to Spill, Preston School of Industry, Get Up Kids, the Dead

Favorite TV Shows:
Simpsons, Southpark, Futurama, Family Guy, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Sopranos, Elimidate, Daily Show

About Me:
Underused and overmedicated. It takes a lot of energy to be a slacker.

Who I Want to Meet:
Linda Ronstadt

Now please allow me to hate on myself.  Why did I list "politics" as a hobby or interest?  Sure, the '04 campaign was gearing up, but still... the older I get, the more I think being "into" politics is about as admirable as "having" herpes.  My list of movies is okay, but listing any Monty Python movie pretty much screams "total nerd."  On to the music: did I really list Phish and the Dead?  Oh god, I did.  Not that I don't like Phish and the Dead now, because I have to admit that I do, but I just don't know it's something I want to advertise.  Especially at 28.  And I don't know why I listed Postal Service and Preston School of Industry - I like them both, but they each had only one album out at the time.  The tv shows look okay because I still watch most of- Whoa! Tell me that doesn't say Elimidate.  Okay, okay, I admit it.  I used to watch that show because it made me feel better about myself.  No matter how alone you are, at least you're not those losers.

Pretty pathetic profile.  I also only have 5 friends, so that's additionally pathetic.  But I did get a laugh when I checked my inbox.  Here are a few samples:

From: Leah
Date: Monday, November 22, 2004 4:59:00 PM
Subject: crack
Message: dude would love to meet up and smoke crack together sometime. give me a shout if you are game.
leah
 
From:  Jennifer 
Date: Sunday, December 11, 2005 1:15:00 AM
Subject: heyya!
Message: hey babe whats going on? just saw your profile online and wondered if youd like to chat. check out sdate.us/jenny for a few more pics of me and my friends getting freaky;-) friendster doesnt have a webcam option either, so if you wanna check me out when im online, u can do that from the site as well

ttyl,
jenny

From:  Melissa 
Date: Thursday, December 22, 2005 12:41:00 PM
Subject: hiyya hun
Message: hey babe, just saw ya online and wanted to say whats up. ill keep it short but if ya wanna chat with me sometime you can come check my pics and contact info at sexywebcams4you.com/mely

xoxo,
mely 

 It goes on.  Mostly porn spam.   So all in all I'd say my Friendster experience was a miserable failure.  Not that I put any effort into it.