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State of the Union

From CNN:

Bush speech to tackle kitchen table concerns

Finally, he will address the issues on the minds of every American, such as:

  • Placemats, or no placemats
  • Proper flatware placement when no salad fork is present
  • Best table tops: glass or wood
  • Who keeps running off with the salt shaker
  • D0 we really need napkin rings
  • How long has that milk been sitting out
  • Mom, Billy keeps kicking me
  • Dale, will you put down that newspaper and help me
  • Irene, we haven't had sex in three months
  • Dale, now is not the time
  • Cold hearted bitch
  • What did you say!
  • Nothing dear

And other pressing issues that penetrate so deeply into the heartland that the heartland is getting very uncomfortable with the word "penetrate."

I, for one, will not be watching tonight's state of the union address.  Why?  Because I watched it last year, and NOTHING HAS FUCKING CHANGED.

Posted on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 by Registered CommenterRCR | Comments6 Comments

Reader Comments (6)

Re-runs can be fun. After all, we put him into syndication in 2004.
Jan 31, 2006 at 04:32PM | Unregistered CommenterA_Unique_Alias
If I were interested in presidential language I would look at both speeches to see if, in fact, they are the same speech--at least rhetorically speaking.
Jan 31, 2006 at 04:41PM | Unregistered CommenterM.A.
Don't forget his other main issue: who did all my blow? Was it you, bitch? (as little Billy frantically squirms in his seat and hasn't even *touched* his casserole)

I'm with you RCR. I'll read about it tomorrow.
Jan 31, 2006 at 05:46PM | Unregistered CommenterTSS
Gorgeous! There is so much right with this post that I won't embarrass myself by reiterating it all. But I'm with you. And we don't need napkin rings.
Jan 31, 2006 at 07:24PM | Unregistered Commentermysterygirl!
What about the spoon?! There is no use for it. Why is it even on the table? We aren't eating soup! My tea is already sweetened. It's just going to have to get picked up and put back in the drawer again. It's pointless!!
Feb 1, 2006 at 09:13AM | Unregistered CommenterPhil
i haven't watched more than 5 minutes of any of his SOTU speeches. it just makes me too angry. and then i want to throw things at the TV, which might hurt the precious TV. so it's better just to tune out.
Feb 1, 2006 at 10:33AM | Unregistered CommenterEtta

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