So You Wanna Be A Hipster... Band
The first in what I will hope will be a "So You Wanna Be A Hipster" series (or rather "I have nothing to blog about so I will make fun of hipsters" series), today we're going to talk about having a hipster band. First, you need a hipster band name. Don't be fooled, though: the hipster band names of the form The [noun]s are soooo 2003. New hipster band names* should follow one these forms:
- [word] [preposition] [word] - real-life examples include Murder By Death, Architecture In Helsinki, Riddle Of Steel, Jinxed At Twelve, Head Of Femur
- [non-sensical non-words] - real-life examples include Fing Fang Foom, The Gris Gris, Ris Paul Ric
- [phrase including "Yeah"] - real-life examples include The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
So, off the top of my head your band could be called Fishing For Madras, Tsang Rici Smoof, or Your Mom Says Yeah and still fit into the hipster band name rubric. Also note, if you are a DJ you should refer to yourself as a Turntablist.
Next you need hipster clothes to be in a hipster band. Since you're a hipster, you should appear to be jaded, sarcastic, and ironic. What's more ironic than a tshirt with an ironic saying? Why a suit of course! Playing rock and roll in a suit. It's daft, I tell you. But there should be something ironic about the suit, like the fact that the style is 20-50 years old, or includes a bolo tie. Maybe you're wearing cowboy boots with a hounds-tooth jacket - I don't know. Use your imagination.
Next is the ever-so important hair. This is a tough one. My recommendation is to find a hair stylist who is clearly a junky. Junkies definitely give you the best hipster haircut - even if it's just taking clippers to one side of your head and passing out. The half-head of hair is very hipster. Alternatively, if you have curly, bushy hair then you should never get your hair cut ever again. Ever.
Next is the music. Don't play an instrument? Doesn't matter. Your band is made up of a trombonist, a accordionist, a washtub-bass player, and recordings of the metro "doors closing" voice? That's fine. It doesn't matter, because you'll never actually play anywhere anyway, and if you do it will only be for your 6 closest friends. You see, the point of being in a hipster band isn't to play music or record an album, it's simply for the status of saying you're in a band. And appearances, children, are what being a hipster is all about.
*real band names taken from the current Black Cat schedule. For serious.
RCR
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Reader Comments (23)
You've given me hope, rcr, that despite not having played the piano in over five years I can still form a band called Genevieve Likes Dill Pickles and name it thus because 1. Of its hidden overtly sexual innuendo and 2. It's not actually true! I hate dill pickles. See what I just did there? I think the hipsters these days would mistakenly call this irony.
Your name is good, but I would consider Pickling On Genevieve and Pickles, Yeah, Pickles!!! as band names also.
That is all.
Except I don't like any of those bands. And I'm not a hipster anymore. So I guess it kind of works out.
You should've also touched on where the bands/hipsters tend to live (read: Brooklyn/Silverlake, although it's switching to other places these days).
"Alternatively, if you have curly, bushy hair then you should never get your hair cut ever again. Ever."
That's a flat out At The Drive-In reference.
Great post.
See ya at Death Cab.
Now that I've read this post I think I'm going to start punctuating my sentences with randon, "yeahs!"
Funny, accurate post. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I aspire to emulate much of what you mentioned. I need thick, curly hair. If only.
Incidental note - I used to be in an indie rock band, so I have plenty of "ironic" tshirts, including my favorite "Coke Is It!" We were all too old to be hipsters, however. Most of us were reformed grunge rockers, while I was a reformed jambander. Anyway, our claims to fame were playing the black cat, opening for Caustic Resin at Metro Cafe (which is condos now), and getting a song on rotation on WNRN in Annapolis. Were we going to make it? Absolutely not - but I was in a band. And that was all that mattered. Until I graduated from law school and had no time for it.
I'm thinking of getting the band back together using the new RCR rubric. I'm thinking "Capital Basement Collective" or maybe "Basement in Shagtown."
Death Cab. I'm not going to go there.
Williamsburg is played out. Silverlake is hot. Believe it or not...Baltimore is the up and coming cool spot.
Hell is starting to get cold...
Pitchfork? No, don't read it, except to check in on tour dates or album news for Malkmus, Built to Spill, Jets to Brazil, or whatever aging indie band I still listen to. I'm not really into "new" music anymore. As I believe Kathryn can attest to, I would like to see The Killers drawn and quartered.
Re: Baltimore, my band used to play up there a lot. Mostly at the Vault. My impression of the music scene was that a lot of those kids listened to lots of Samhain and Sepultura in junior high school. But, that was 3 years ago.
Silverlake is just off of downtown LA. 213 area code.
Baltimore sound? Hip-hop punk mix (NOT the lame nu-metal/rap mix). Hollertronix out of Philly/B'more puts out some good stuff.
Okay, I'm done.